I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
