# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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