Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
