Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
