Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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