what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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