I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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