operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
