Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
