Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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