I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
