I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
