there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
