i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
