He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
