i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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