I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
third nipple confirmed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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