Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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