awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
