Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
