Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Randomize
