You're so nebulous sometimes
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
