shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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