people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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