I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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