what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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