I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
