Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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