I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
