like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
