How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
