sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
