It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
