that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
