dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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