were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
