eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
