Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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