we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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