your room smells of hookers.
And success
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
