Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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