I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
