Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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