When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
