i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
