bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
