I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
