ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
