My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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