that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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