I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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