Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
